The Mark of my Friendship shall scar thy DNA
I was walking home from a workout when I saw something that made me think about scars. I t was a pickup truck that had some leftover parts of stickers left on it. Y'know the sticky residue left a mark on it and it made me think about how even when we lose something, its marks can still be told by the scars it leaves. The residue on that truck told a story about what its owner once put on it. In many ways, we are also evidence of what things in our stories have left semi-permanent scars on us.
I don't just mean physical or emotional harms that are negative and forever, but sometimes interesting quirks or interests that we pick up as a result of the people we encounter in the road of life. Sorta like how maybe you only play Yu-Gi-Oh or Warhammer cuz a friend got you into it.
It was an intereesting thought because it got me thinking about how even after losing a long held friendship, I'm still scarred from our time together. There are permanent parts of my personaility, interests, and thought process that I'll always have thanks to him. I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing.
We were friends for over 15 years and shared alot of good times together. I don't like how we split up, and maybe I think a little less of who he was at that time because of it, but we had alot of good times together. Good times that shaped me into the person I am today. It would feel.... I don't wanna say wasteful excatly, but just a real big mistake to throw out all those memories because I don't like him anymore. This breakup of our freindship has left quite a scar on my heart, but his friendship has left me with plenty of scars that I still cherish to this day.
That committment to hold on to the good times made our breakup a bit harder than it could've been, but it was like throwing out the baby with the bath water. Some of the best memories in my life were with him, and I sholdn't let our falling out ruin those. I look upon our scars with love, and admiration. Again, It's not exactly worth it to lose out on all that because we're not cool anymore.
And it's not just close real life relationships, but online ones as well. I've been on the internet for a long time, and many of the spaces and communities I've been in have "scarred"me as well. Some good and some bad. It feels obvious when you say it out louad, but it still feels important to point out. Sometimes you hear folks say how their personality is a frankenstein
's monster
of all the people they've met, but that also applies to the people we meet in cyberspace as well. carrying parts of them with us as we go on throughout life. Makes me feel a little better about the old MMO friends, microblog accounts, and other internet connections I've long lost touch with. I sometimes wonder if they're ok, if life is treating them well. Hell, are they even alive?
But i have some comfort in knowing I carry their memories with me through my scars.